Spring is here.

And it brought nice breezes.

And open windows.

And pollen.

And a goober who left the windows open for two days.

And now everything in the goober’s house is coated with pollen.

I dusted with the Swiffer 360* reccomended by my ultra tidy friend Bridget.  And it’s worked, but soon the pollen comes back.

It’s in the air. It’s on the walls, the light fixtures and it’s in my nose!

And my sinuses are killing me.  I’ve never had allergies, but I guess it’s yet another perk that came with my 40th birthday.

Allergies.

40 has been a party so far.

So, Tidy Bridget is also my living, breathing substitute for WebMd and usually often actual medical care.  She got her nursing degree recently, so she’s a good choice.

Though, she’s been my go-to for the last 15+ years even before the degree.

Her recommendation for the sinus issue was the Neti Pot.

Are you familiar with the Neti Pot?

I’m still without a camera, so I’m borrowing these images from google.  And I’m really sad about that.  Because a video of my first time with the Neti Pot would have been a crowd pleaser, I am sure.

At first glance, it looks like a lamp that would house a wish granting genie.

I’ve got three wishes.

• I wish I could breathe.

• I wish that this gets rid of vertigo.

• I wish for three more wishes.

‘Cause the first two were necessary, but not any fun.

The kids gathered around to watch.  Because,   we have no life and so my kids are really easy to entertain, I thought it might be a good chance to share a natural healing method with them.  And to be honest, they dig weird stuff like this.  Or at least the little one does.

So, I rubbed the pot, made the wishes, and filled it with warm water and the little pack of premeasured saline stuff that came with it.

Magic salt.

The directions and Bridget said to put the little spout up one nostril and tilt my head to the side so that it would come out the other nostril.

The little kids sat on the edge of the tub.

You could feel the excitement in the air.

Kinda.

I was breaking the “don’t put that in your nose” rule, after all.

I poked it up my nose and tilted my head.  The wrong way.

A sensation,  perhaps nearly unpleasant and maybe akin to waterboarding took over.

Ever get water up your nose while swimming?  Well, that was it. On steroids.

I couldn’t figure out which way to tilt my head and for some reason kept pouring.  I couldn’t stop myself.

I was programmed to pour, not to stop.  Where was my my off switch?

My head felt very much like it was going to bust.  And salty stuff was washing down my throat.  {{{Gag}}}}!!!

I couldn’t get it right.  And the images in the mirror weren’t helping.

I could see my crazy reflection contorted and struggling.

And  behind me, the horrified expressions on my kids faces as I wiggled around making pained faces with a tea pot crammed up my nose.

Getting tickled while not being able to stop pouring a teapot of salt water up your nose isn’t recommended.  In fact, I’d go as far as to say, frowned upon.

It was unfortunate, indeed.

Very uncomfortable, and messy.

But, not snotty messy.  Like you’d kind of expect when you wash your sinuses.

If you wash your sinuses.

Just watery.

That was a pleasant relief.  I’m extremely squeamish.

So, I figured, what the heck and did the other side.  By this point, Mack checked out.

Watching the gross stuff is not for him.   And with an “Why would you do that? I AM OUTTA HERE.”  He was gone.

Sam stuck it out.  And I’d expect no less of him.  The weirder the better for that one.

I think he thrives on the weirdness that is living here.

So, I did the other side and was way more coordinated.  It took a second to figure it out, but it went much better and wasn’t nearly as reminiscent of terrorist torture procedures.

I’m sure in a few months, it’ll look like this when I do it.

Except for I don’t have blond hair.  And am not photogenic, even when I’m not using a genie’s lamp to pour magic stuff up my nose.

And you know what?  I felt better.  And I could breathe.

Bridget was right.  It works.

Really well.

And I did it again today.

My husband, Wayne, was home, but refused to watch.

I tried to persuade him.  But, he wasn’t biting.

He’s said it before and he may be right, our bathroom is where sexy has gone to die.

But, it’s been great for delousing and sinus washing.

Joy.

I think you can do the Neti Pot every two hours.  And I’d have to be pretty darn miserable to want to do it that often, but I’m not ruling it out.

It works.

Do you Neti Pot?  Or do other weird things to make yourself feel good?  What am I missing?  Anything else my kids would enjoy watching me put myself through?

Maybe I need to start a video series.  Kinda like that show Jackass that used to come on MTV.  Except my little country talking kids rather than goofy friends will be the ones egging me on.   It’ll be great!

Breathe well friends!